Feelings

Just as a wave is lifted by the shore,
Then breaks across the slowly rising sand,
So as I watch you weep my feelings pour
Across the wash of what I understand.
I wish I could just take you in my arms
And all your pain could melt into my chest,
And all the violence of passing storms
Could pass through me and finally come to rest.
No words can set things right or presence lend
A miracle to light your darkened way,
But there is solace in a loving friend
And comfort in what I don't have to say.
Whatever circumstance you cannot bear,
Just turn to me, and you will find me there

06/27/2009

Date 2009/6/27

I went through good & sad time as well.... good that i can experience different culture wedding with one of my fren, .......sad moment that one of my best frens(soltini's) mom has been expired on 25th of june 2009 at 6:20 AM.

At first i's unknown about it coz' my hand phone's not working at all. When i fixed it than got message that her mom was so sick that has to keep in ICU section. After 2 days later got another message..... "Mero mum expire hunu bhayo aja 6.20am ma(my mom has been expired today at 6.20 Am)". I's shocked to know that, 'how it could be possible' asked myself..... The next moment wanna go there to visit and try to consol them. So next moment i left my friends wedding and heads fot Ktm with lots of hope to meet there.

After i reached there called them to know the location so that can get there. Its really hard to discrib how bad i feel. I don't have any words to consol as well.... just sit there & listen to their conversation. I tried to help them as i can do. On 4th day of death we took the corpse back to hometown. So that all the relatives will pray & pay the last visit.

In our country different culture have their own society & tradition. So i got to know about this culture in total....... i can't discribe like how...., what......, where............. ? i'll pray with god eventhough haven't pray till now... only for them....! Another day their relatives prepared the corpse and allowed everyone to pay their last visit. The funeral was held in the village so everyone who know came there...... its totally devastating site that i could watch anymore, just stay out of the site...... i can feel the pain that has been through that family. i's really sorry to them....!!!!!

Love you All
Nabin

Unknown Friends

first--sarcasm fills the air
striking remarks then follows.
small grins, dubious eyebrows,
oh--let the arguments begin!
time passes by...
only acquiring the habit we have begun.
though the longer the mockery is,
the harder it is revealing each other's identity.
...ironically--my only goal is to uncover the real "you."
unfortunately, there's just too many sarcasm,
and barely little of the real us...
I asked if we could change it,
you said "yes--we can."
deciding that nature will take its place
we set aside our worries and proceed with life.
while in our minds,
there's still a boundary keeping us apart.
will our friendship ever be at ease?
...in my mind
I hope
I pray.

06/25/2009

Date 2009/06/25

I've some wonderful time in my life.....that can't get through out . I went in my friends wedding ceremony in urban area where we've travel through bus after that walk around 6 hours journey. Means remote area......

As a traditional marriage in Gurung culture, there's some significant tradition that we can't get in any other races. The bridge sister and her ladies friends will hide & wait for groom to arrived. When the groom reach near to the bridge house, their sisters & friends will through banana leaf, buffalo shit, goat shit & many other things towards groom and their friends before they cross the gate. It sound a bit dirty....but its an interesting part of the ceremony. After that they'll welcome u formally and invite to have dinner as well as some house made wines.....!

The very next day, the bridge & groom were put together, than wedding ceremony will strat from the relatives of bridge side by giving blessing to both. At last the bridge family members will blessed them & give permission to take her to grooms house.

In the same way, grooms house ...... the relatives will welcome all the guests and blessed groom & bridge both. After that they'll enter the house....... the guests enjoyed theirself by having foods and wines....... thats one of my best experience ever have....!

Love you All
Nabin

She quivered with anticipation, the familiar ring

The telephone call that made her heart sing.

His voice soft and low, it made her face glow

With the soft pink hue that excitement can do.
She knew what he wanted, she expected his call

She lay comfortably back on soft cushions and all.

His breathing was audible, slow and rhythmic

Sending thrills through her body no other could mimic.
"Is it in your hand?" She coyly asked him

He affirmed and assured her his readiness urged him

To proceed slowly but with eager abandon

His other hand moving in perfect rhythm.
His excited gasps drew her into the game

He screamed out " Yes!" and his breathing changed

To a frenzied rush. Her body arched, her lips parted.

As he whispered softly he's only just started.
His excitement grew and tension mounted

His hand moved faster, the moments counted.

"Yes!" she cried into the 'phoneas he hoarsely whispered, almost a groan….
"Two twenty's, two tens, two set for life…

One five and one fifty…""Let's try again again next week,

hon'these scratchit' games are really fun

Love you

Nabin

Dream Lover

If there is one thing

That irritates me to the point of screaming

It is my inability to remember what on earth

I've been dreaming.

When I wake up my dream is as clear

As a colour print of it.

Two seconds later my mind has slipped out of gear

And I can't remember a hint of it
Although I'm sure it was all vivid and delightful

And recalling it would make me more aware and insightful.

Chances of dreamtime romances

I am determined to take

Since I do not get many offers by staying awake.

Love you

Nabin

My Heart's Desire

The End

They took away the sun
It had turned to ash and faded away
a ball of nothingness
waving, then falling
a mass of dry gray snow
covering our darkened rock
filling lungs and rivers
making murky the water
destroying everything
the oceans are a puree of muck and filth
hardening and turning to sludge, to rock
until only the definition of whether the long stick your hand caresses
still caked with slimy dead skin
is that of a whale or an elephant
will distinguish it's hardened face
from the remains of the dead planet
conversations end
killing
rape
killing
rape
for words have no power in this land of death
this land where light is only from electricity
that is quickly running out
or from fire
which is running out of things to burn
a man indeed has only so many daughters to fuck and burn
fuck and burn
fuck and burn
emotion is ended
hope is gone
the air is sick with poison
we are dying amongst the dead in a land of death
until we cannot distinguish which is which
we used to think being chased by zombies
creatures of darkness
was 'horror'
but horror is becoming such things
losing mind
losing love
feeling every hope for humanity
every speck of reality
slowly die
we are not the dying
we are the dead
we eat the flesh of what we find
we cook the newborn
when we have the luxury of fire
Do not weep for them
fuck, you smarmy cunt, you son of a fucking bitch fuckstain, DO NOT fucking weep for them
They know nothing of pain
not as we do
Why hold on
to this loosening thread
the sun is DEAD
The SUN is DEAD! shall I speak the words brothers?
we fuck and we shit and we drink and we eat
the taste of blood is not unusual
AIDS does not weary us
Though the years condemn
Oh God! Where are you now?
You are gone, left this fucking wasteland
left this hole
this festering wound of maggots
Oh Satan! Won't you stay a bit longer
help us live
help us survive
help us with our piece of bullshit hope
that we will together pick up every piece of the sun
and put it back together
light it and place it back in the sky
but the sun is nothing now
not even a thought
the idea of warmth, save for the few living cocks cunts and assholes we find
is gone
the idea of anything
is gone
of form or possibility
of future
we long for death, we are death
but we do not die
though we crave the end, it is not to be
we fuck
shit
eat
fuck
shit
eat
drink the blood
words are functionless
we are cursed
the cursed who remain
and we long to leave this place
for the promise of Hells mercy
oh for a river of fire, the smell of sulfur
Oh what sweet release from this cage
But yet, we live
we do not end
We walk this Earth, cursed and a curse
we eat though all is eaten
we drink the blood when water is gone
our own semen and piss when water is gone
we are not aware of one body from another
we are one
a collective pain
a collective agony
a single scream and moan
and the end does not come
Nay; my brothers we scream and call and beg for it
Our teeth rot inside our faces, finger freeze and snap like twigs, eyes melt and limbs scratched and swollen are nothing but lumps of pus and scraps of meat
and yet
we
do
not
ever
fucking
end
For the Grim Reaper does not dare to tread this ground
reality is gone
we exist in our own heads
(do we?) don't we?
(or do we?) And what was was
Or was certain
is no more
Did I fuck yesterday
or was I dreaming
When was yesterday?
When was anything
What is anything
Language is gone, as are concepts
Our bodies are broken filthy piles of meat
and yet, my brothers O my brothers
And yet WE DO NOT DIE

I love you like a cold pint

on a red hot summer day

I love you like a Kewell goal

as Leeds beat Scum away

I love you like the crash chord

played in 'Won't Get Fooled Again'

I love you like a Python sketch

they're all etched on my brain

I love you like the feel of cash

first issued clean and crisp

I love you like a twenty-one

that turns up when I twist

I love you like the nightcap

that sets me up for bed

I love you like the musty smell

that permeates my shed

I love you just like everything

that ever gave me pleasure

so please accept this sickly verse

and snoggery beyond measure

Love you

Nabin

Are you talking to me?"

she said passing by"

, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy,

"I think you're real gorgeous ...

that flaming red hair

Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare.
"I love the way that it curls round your face,

And the way that it seems your ears to embrace,

And the way that it darkens the green of your eyes,

And the way on your cheek that a loose tendril lies."
She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride,

Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide,

She smiled as she whipped the wig from her head,

"If you like it so much, here, you wear it instead."

Are you talking to me?" she said passing by

Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy,

"I think you're real gorgeous ...

that flaming red hairIs exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare.
"I love the way that it curls round your face,

And the way that it seems your ears to embrace,

And the way that it darkens the green of your eyes,

And the way on your cheek that a loose tendril lies."
She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride,

Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide,

She smiled as she whipped the wig from her head,

"If you like it so much, here, you wear it instead."

Are you talking to me?" she said passing by

"Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy,

"I think you're real gorgeous ... that flaming red hair

Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare.
"I love the way that it curls round your face,

And the way that it seems your ears to embrace,

And the way that it darkens the green of your eyes,

And the way on your cheek that a loose tendril lies."
She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride,

Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide,

She smiled as she whipped the wig from her head,

"If you like it so much, here, you wear it instead.

" Are you talking to me?" she said passing by"

Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy,

"I think you're real gorgeous ... that flaming red hair

Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare.
"I love the way that it curls round your face,

And the way that it seems your ears to embrace,

And the way that it darkens the green of your eyes,And the way on your cheek that a loose tendril lies."
She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride,

Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide,

She smiled as she whipped the wig from her head,

"If you like it so much, here, you wear it instead.

" Are you talking to me?" she said passing by"

Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy,

"I think you're real gorgeous ... that flaming red hair

Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare.
"I love the way that it curls round your face,

And the way that it seems your ears to embrace,

And the way that it darkens the green of your eyes,

And the way on your cheek that a loose tendril lies."
She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride,

Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide,

She smiled as she whipped the wig from her head,

"If you like it so much, here, you wear it instead."

The stereo played slow love songs

The candles were aglow

He certainly was cooking something up

But what? I did not know
As he led me away from the kitchen

My hopes began to crumble

When he took me to the main bedroom

I heard my tummy rumble

He set me down upon the bed

And then to my surprise

He grabbed a blood red silken tie

And wrapped it round my eyes
I started feeling worried

This was not his normal behaviour

What could be for dinner here

And what could I find to savour?
I could hear him rustling round a bit

What was taking him so long

I’d known him over six months now

But could I have judged him wrong?

Did he have a darker side?

Was he into kinky stuff?

Well everything here seemed OK

I knew I just had to trust
Then I felt his hand so gentle

As he slowly released my blindfold

I opened my eyes and before me Was such a sight to behold
He had totally turned his body

From his crown to his toenail

a savoury sensation

And in his hand... a packet of chips
Well, I could not hold back the laughter

I was rolling about in a fit

Then he held out the packet and said,

So solemn...”Would you like a dip?”
After removing the hair from the pate

To my delight it tasted divine

And he kept a supply of rice crackers

Propped up ‘tween his toes in a line

Did he have a darker side?

Was he into kinky stuff?

Well everything here seemed OK

I knew I just had to trust
Then I felt his hand so gentle

As he slowly released my blindfold

I opened my eyes and before me

Was such a sight to behold
He had totally turned his body

From his crown to his toenail tip

Into a savoury sensation

And in his hand... a packet of chips
Well, I could not hold back the laughterI was rolling about in a fitThen he held out the packet and said,So solemn...”Would you like a dip?”
After removing the hair from the pateTo my delight it tasted divineAnd he kept a supply of rice crackersPropped up ‘tween his toes in a lineDid he have a darker side?Was he into kinky stuff?Well everything here seemed OKI knew I just had to trust
Then I felt his hand so gentleAs he slowly released my blindfoldI opened my eyes and before me Was such a sight to behold
He had totally turned his bodyFrom his crown to his toenail tipInto a savoury sensationAnd in his hand... a packet of chips
Well, I could not hold back the laughterI was rolling about in a fitThen he held out the packet and said,So solemn...”Would you like a dip?”
After removing the hair from the pateTo my delight it tasted divineAnd he kept a supply of rice crackersPropped up ‘tween his toes in a lineWell I tried the cream cheese on his fingersHis belly button olives were yumBut I kept coming back for my favouriteThe guacamole smeared on his buns
He’d gone to a lot of trouble To find all my favourite thingsI especially liked the arrangementOf the cheezles and burger rings
I shared all the treats with my sweetieTowards the end I was starting to slowHe gave me a wink and suggestedI finish off with a big cheerio
Needless to say...There were no further coursesWe sent out for pizza insteadAfter sweetie had showered we ate itPropped up in our crumb filled bed
Now our relationship’s taken on new meaningAs we share in our new found delightIn fact I’ve invited my sweetieFor dessert round at my place tonight!

Are u Talking to Me....?

Are you talking to me?" she said passing by"Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy,"I think you're real gorgeous ... that flaming red hairIs exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare.
"I love the way that it curls round your face,And the way that it seems your ears to embrace,And the way that it darkens the green of your eyes,And the way on your cheek that a loose tendril lies."
She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride,Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide,She smiled as she whipped the wig from her head,"If you like it so much, here, you wear it instead."

My Heart Aches.....

My heart aches when I talk to you
My heart aches when I don’t hear from you
My heart aches when I long for you

I don’t know why
You’ve taken over my thoughts
I can’t explain

You’re still a stranger
Far away
I want you close by

I miss your embrace
Holding you close
My heart aches

I miss you!

Love u
Nabin

Friendship Never Ends

We were in kindergarten when we became friends
we made a packed we'd be friends till the end
playing on the playground swingin' on the swings
next thing we know we'd be teens

Telling secrets, talking about boys
Growing up, getting rid of all our toys
Talking to each other on the phone
Knowing that we'd never be alone

Your the person I can tell everything
and you wouldn't laugh at me when I tried to sing
I could always be a dork with you
And you could be a dork with me too

And even when we had our fights
Some how we knew everything would be alright
Ya, sure we had our ups and downs
We shared our smiles and our frowns


But no matter what we stayed friends
You were here through the thick and thin
I love you more then words can say
and I wish you never had to go away

Even though you can't be here
I thank God for all the years
that we got to spend together
our friendship I will always Treasure!

Love u
Nabin

My Beautiful Frens

You made me laugh when I cried so hard
You gave me bracelets to cover my scars
You held me close when I was so cold
You offered a comforting hand to hold

You picked me up whenever I fell
You showed me heaven when I was blinded by hell
You answered my calls in the darkened night
You gave me the reasons to hold on and fight

You rescued me when I was drowning in pain
You placed me back on the right path again
You loved me forever and stayed by my side
You entered my heart as an angel to guide

You may not be with me so much anymore
But I know you will leave open a beckoning door
I miss you so much but I'll fight till the end
I love you so much my Bestest friend.

Love you
Nabin

Forever

Forever takes me by a minute,
While I’m here with you.
I’m falling even more in love,
With everything you do.

Hold me in your arms,
Look deep into my eyes,
Don’t turn away and let me go,
Don’t ever tell me lies.

I swear I’ll never loose you,
In my arms I’ll always hold.
I’ll never let you slip away,
And leave nothing left untold.

There aren’t enough hours,
In each passing day,
To find all the words,
I wish I could say.

Your kiss will last forever,
Your touch forever warm.
You’ll guide me to the sunlight,
And shield me from the storm.

This is what I’m saying,
With everything that’s true,
I swear on my life,
That I really do love you.

Love you

Nabin